I want to make a zoo with you.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
