wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We got so high we made milksteak
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
