How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
