Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
