Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
