Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I can feel your judgement through the phone
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
