lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
