I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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