At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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