Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
