I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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