Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
