real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
