I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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