I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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