Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize