I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
