we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize