Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
