I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize