i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
