do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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