My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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