Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You're like the curious george of whores
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
