Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
