she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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