Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She even gives head with a lisp.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
