so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
