her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
