so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
My breath smells like gin and sadness
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize