i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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