Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
