omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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