Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
