Where is the hickey?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize