Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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