I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
