pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
