Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
