So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
