Even the bartender felt bad for me
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
