Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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