The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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