Joe is yelling at the trees again.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
