My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize