You really coming over, don't trick.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
