Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
