I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
