Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
