but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Who wears a wallet chain?!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
