When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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