Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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