a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize