this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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