pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
