are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
