So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
