He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize