It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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