I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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