I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize